Bart's Black Board

I Will not waste chalk/ I will not aim for the head/ I will not skateboard in the halls/ I will

not barf unless I'm sick/ I will not burp in class/ I will not expose the ignorance of the

faculty/ I will not investigate revolution/ I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge/

I will not draw naked ladies in class/ I will not conduct fire drills/ I did not see Elvis/ I will

return the seeing eye dog/ Funny noises are not funny/ I will not call my teachers "HOT

CAKES"/ I will not snap bras/ GARLIC gum is not funny/ I will not fake seizures/ They

are laughing at me, not with me. /this punishment is not boring or meaningless/ I will not yell in a crowed classroom.

/ My name is not Dr. Death/ I will not encourage others to

fly/ I will not defame New Orleans/ I will not fake my way though life/ I will not

prescribe medication/ Tar is not a play thing/ I will not Xerox my butt/ I will not teach

others to fly/ IT's potato, not potatoe/ I will not bring sheep to class/ I will not trade

pants with others/ A burp is not an answer/ The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy/

I am not a 32 year old women/ teacher is not a leper/ I will not do that thing with

my tongue/ coffee is not for kids/ I will not drive the principal's car/ I will not eat

things for money/ I will not pledge allegiance to Bart/ I will not yell she is dead during

roll call/ I will not cut corners/ I will not squeak chalk/ I do not have diplomatic

immunity/ I will not charge admission to the bathroom/ I will not get very far with this

attitude/ Goldfish don't bounce/ I will not make flatulent noises in class/ Mud is not one

of the 4 food groups/ I will not belch the National Anthem/ No one is interested in my

underpants/ I will not sell land in Florida/ I will not sell miracle cures/ I will not grease

the monkey bars/ Underwear should be worn on the inside/ I will not hide behind the

Fifth Amendment/ The Christmas pageant does not stink/ I will not do anything bad

ever again/ I will not torment the emotionally frail/ I will not show off I will not call the

principal 'spud head'/ I will not crave gods/ I will not sleep though my education/

I will not spank others/ I'm not a dentist/ I will not bribe principal Skinner/ Spit wads are

not free speech./ I will finish what I start/ nobody likes sunburn slappers/ Bart buck

are not legal tender/ High explosives and school don't mix/ Hamsters cannot fly/

all work and no play makes Bart a dull boy/ I will not say Springfield just to get

applause/ I'm not authorized to fire substitute teachers/ My homework was not stolen

by the one armed man/ I will not go near the kindergarten turtle/ I'm not deliciously

saucy/ organ transplants are best left to professionals/ I will not send lard though the

mail/ I will not use abbrev./ Five days is not to long to wait for a gun/ Adding just

kidding doesn't make it ok to make fun of the principal/ Indians burn are not our

cultural heritage/ there are plenty of businesses like shoe business/ I will not dissect

unless instructed/ No one wants to here my arm pits./ I will not mock mrs. dumbface/

I will not celebrate meaningless millstones/ I will not strut around like I own the place/

Next time it could be me on that scaffolding/ I'm not a lean mean spitting machine/

The pledge of allegiance does not end with hail satan/ I do not have power of

attorney over first graders/ I will remember to take my medicine/ nerve gas is not a toy/

bewitched does not promote satanism/ The first amendment does not cover burping

Ralph won;t 'morph' if you squeeze him hard enough.

ou